27.

I’m not sure how long I had been standing on that sidewalk before I heard Ling’s footsteps approach. When I turned to look at her emerge I saw that she was dressed decadently in a bold red dress. Her hair was up, highlighting her face that was painted in makeup to match the boldness in the dress. She was beautiful, even in the dim lighting.

“That’s quite a dress.” I said to her affectionately. It was hard to remember that I was angry.

“It’s cherry colored.” She smiled, warmly. “I had an audition this evening.”

“How’d it go?”

She shrugged. “They want me to play a coy Chinese waitress in a restaurant. Serves tea, giggles at bad jokes, always bowing.”

“The usual.”

Ling let out a laugh, like a giant relief as if she had been wanting to share that sentiment with someone all day. She walked up and hugged me, embracing me completely. Suddenly she let go and took a few steps back. I looked over my shoulder to find Arvin standing in the open doorway. He seemed surprise to see both of us, and quickly turned back to go into the house.

“I’m sorry.” Ling whispered. She started to make her way towards the house.

“He knows.” I said, and held my breath, waiting for the reaction. The ride was coming to a halting crash.

Ling said nothing. She just looked back and forth between the doorway where Arvin stood and me. I couldn’t read the look on her face, whether she was embarrassed or relieved. I couldn’t tell if I was embarrassed or relieved.

“Your son probably misses you.” I delivered a low blow.

“Cherry.”

“You should have told me.”

“Would it have changed things?”

“Uh, yes. Very much, yes.”

“I’m sorry.” Ling seemed to be able to remain calm. “That part of my life, it has nothing to do with you.”

“You have a husband and a kid and I have become a home wrecker at the age of eighteen. My parents would not be proud of me right now.”

“Don’t say that. It has been over between me and him for a very, very long time. It was never anything to begin with.”

“Then why the secrecy?”

“Because I came here to start over, to leave a life I was forced into. Because maybe, Cherry, it still hurts.”

She looked me dead in the eyes as she spoke. I saw the strength she was trying to pull out of herself. At all costs she would protect herself first, she had to. I realized then the incredible gray scale of our situation. I couldn’t think of what the right move was to make.

“You should talk to Arvin. I think he feels really hurt by this. More than he let on to me. Of course, he also has his own shit to deal with.”

“What about you?”

“I think I’m going to go home and have dinner in complete silence with my parents because that feels like a really good idea right now. Because all of this is very overwhelming.”

I let Ling pull me into an embrace, my tired mind no longer in control of my exhausted body. After a moment I managed to find the strength to step away from her. I got into the car and drove off, leaving Ling and her cherry colored dress on the sidewalk. I felt a sense of relief that this day was ending. And at the same time felt like the biggest jerk in the world.

In the morning I decided I would not return to work. At this point I could no longer face Will, his problems, or his family. They were, obviously, too much of a reminder of my own predicament.
In the morning I jogged all the way back to Arvin’s house.